March 4th 2003
I would say at this point of the haunting I was at my breaking point. I couldn’t hold on much longer and my strategy of staying out of the house during the day and drenching Holy Water in every crevasse of our home wasn’t working. Furniture had begun to flip over, large pieces such as armors and loveseats. When coming downstairs in the morning most of the furniture was turned over in the living room. My fear were becoming nightmares and I started to ask Caspar if we could move, or Meredith and I could move to a small apartment. I was met with an resounding “No”. And ” I am not fucking moving bitch anymore for you!”. Caspar was never what I would call “Nice”. He is from Holland and has as hard edge as anyone that I had ever meant. I knew this going in with him and I took it stride because he had so many other wonderful qualities and I was much softer then and felt grateful that anyone would put up with what I had tried so hard to hide, ghosts. But since the haunting started he had become mostly hard. Mostly and asshole. On top of everything I had to deal with I now had marriage problems 4 years in. It was one of the reasons I waited so long to get married and had a deep seated fear about being trapped. And it was coming true. It was strange to me though that I never felt that way about being a mother. I loved it. It was the best thing I had ever done in my life. The only thing I had ever been all-in on. I had to figure out a way to get rid of these entities and salvage my marriage. No one had ever gotten a divorce in my family, even though they should have. I had failed many times in my personal life because of the supernatural. I had to strategize, something I thought I was good at but this was a hydra and I knew whatever was in the house was trying to kill me.
It was early February and the rains had come frequently and strong. The wet weather sometimes bother my RA but I was so scared that took a backseat. I thought it would nice to go out to dinner as a family on Valentines Day at our local Italian eatery so I made a reservation and hoped for a cozy evening. I made our reservation a week in advance and even bought a new dress. I had faked things in my life with the supernatural just to give the appearance that everything was okay. This time though it was so hard. Valentines Day finally arrived and feelings of dread overtook me. I started to have the feeling that I shouldn’t leave the house even though that was my goal everyday-to get out of this fucking house. I forced myself to put my dress on, got Meredith ready and we got in the car and pulled out of the garage. The restaurant was only five minutes away so I thought if I needed to return home it would be fast.
The restaurant was warm and cozy. They have the best Italian food this side of Orange County. We were seated and I ordered my favorite, The Neptune Seafood Pasta. I started to relax a little but the pull to go home was increasing. I was developing one of my “feelings”. Dinner came and I ate in a hurry. I kept hearing in my mind “Leave, leave”. This is known as mind speak in terms of mediumship or remote viewing. It was then that I began to smell and taste smoke. My heart started beating quickly and I told Caspar that I needed to run home and that I would be back in fifteen minutes.
I speed home, forgetting to initially turn on my lights. As I pulled into our community I was relieved that I didn’t see anything. I opened the garage and when I did I noticed smoke-I fucking knew it. I turned the car off and saw that there were books that were burning and smoking. One of the books was a Bible, an old Bible that my grandmother had given me. There were three other books that were in my personal library from college. I thought to myself “How did these books get into the garage and who is the asshole who set them on fire I put the fire out with an extinguisher. Smoke billowed from the book and I moved them out of the garage onto the driveway.
I ran into the house and it was dark and still. There was a flood of light coming from the backyard. The smell of sulfur was present again but very subtlety. I heard a growl coming from upstairs. I ran back outside and the garage door slammed behind me. I ran out of the garage and then disabled to remote. We had replaced the garage door after the incident and hadn’t had any incidents since then but I didn’t want to take any chances.
I sat there for a while thinking. I thought about hiding the books from my family. I got a broom and started to sweep the debris up. I saw Caspar pull onto the street and he looked pissed. He got out of the car and said “Thanks for ruining Valentines Day”. I shook my head and said “There was a fire in the garage when I came home. “I saw it in my mind”. “The books were all upstairs, I don’t know how they got into the garage?”. I asked ” Should I call the police?”. Caspar just laughed until he saw that the garage floor had been burned.
March 16th 2003
As someone who is a quintessential bookworm I had thousands of books in my home. I had even built bookshelves to house them when I entered graduate school. It was one of the things I loved that would take me into another world. So I had a lot of books. Now I was worried that they would be used as fuel to blow the place to smithereens. I decided that I would start packing up my books and rent a storage unit for a couple of months until this situation calmed down. I didn’t want to take any chances and it seemed like they were using the things that meant something to attack me. I was very worn down and running of fumes. My staying power was dying and I recognized this tactic from my mother. I knew how to be strategic but it was almost as if I could not keep up with what was happening. I had been afraid of fire since I was a little girl and they knew it. I had to face my fears and face them now.
March 2003
I knew they were trying to burn the house down. Small fires had started to break out in the house since the initial incident. It was now happening almost daily. I was afraid to leave the house but I had to. I had to go to the grocery store and pick up groceries and run errands.
I knew things were coming to a pinpoint and I was not going to be able to outwit these things. I started putting everything that was flammable in the garage into metal containers. This wasn’t going to stop all that they might due but it was something.
This month was the last month that I could stand being in the house alone. I would sit outside in the back doing my History homework and then pick up baby Meredith and hang our outside in the yard until Caspar came home. The small fires and burning of the walls started to migrate to my skin. Mentally I was running low. My strong and challenger vitality had widdled down to almost nothing. I felt like my body might give out. I never realized that these demons would literally try and kill me.
The Last Day
It was March 31st. I hated the day as soon as I woke up as there was a sour smell in the house. It mean that I wasn’t going to have any rest and that I could be harmed. I woke up at 4:30 am, my usual I was only sleeping 4 hours a night. I got up early up early because I was afraid to sleep in. I needed to get up and then turn on all the lights and make coffee and watch the sunrise. I sensed the energy move from the garage in to the kitchen. I could feel it watching me. I decided then and there to go back to a church in the next town over and see if they could help. I wasn’t going to stay in the house if this continued. If it cost me my marriage then so be it. I didn’t know it then that my decision to fight back would cost me everything.
